What is a Mompreneur?

A Mompreneur is a mother who starts a business — pretty obvious. Ironically, if you search google blogs, you will find some women embracing the title — and some who are offended. The ones who are offended typically argue that it diminishes their business to call them a mom-preneur, as if that means they are selling $10K worth of beauty products, not starting a “real” business. (I argue that the $10K/year of beauty products IS a real business — just run at a small scale)

But, if you search Mompreneur, you will find this term used to describe women who have founded multi-million dollar businesses, some even publically traded. And describing a network of women who are starting small at-home businesses, as well as small-to-start businesses they plan to grow to empires.

The complaints are typical feminist backlash. Acknowledging that we are women, and mothers, is not diminishing our success, or hard work, or legitimacy. It’s creating a community of women with similar challenges, who can network and support each other. It’s not like the big boys are calling us mompreneurs to keep us out of their fancy wood paneled club — we are calling ourselves mompreneurs, and creating our own club. Except ours has big windows overlooking a playground.

I call myself a Mompreneur as a completely conscious branding strategy. I am running my business differently because I am a mom and want to spend time with my daughter — not running it in any lesser way, but infinitely more efficiently, using technology and making choices to create a business where I can make great money, help people, and still have a great life with my family. And, that is part of my shitck. Having toys in my office, a playset in the garden, pictures of my daughter on my About Us page — my clients know I have a daughter, it give us a topic to discuss and bond over, and they buy into ME, not just my services.

Gracie has helped me take my businesses to the next level — now I have more reasons than ever to run my business Smart instead of Hard.

I don’t have time to be sick.

Yesterday, I woke up with a migraine. I admit that now.

But yesterday I was in denial. Oh, it’s just a headache, perhaps I needed more sleep (but I had 6 1/2 hours), or drink more water, or my blood sugar was low. I will just drink some water, take two Excedrin, and plow through. I still will research blog promotion, go out to lunch with my familiy, clean up the backyard, play with Gracie, talk to my husband about his work, pick up the dry cleaning, help my husband pick out paint colors for his office, and design my new marketing plan.

But then reality caught up with me. After taking the family to Outback Steakhouse, and eating a steak with Gracie is climbing all over me while trying to keep Gracie from throwing a plate of mac and cheese across the room or her grabbing a serrated knife and waiving it around, I came home and realized that My Head Hurt.

By then, another dose of Excedrin and a cooling patch to the forehead were too late — I had a migraine. Which means, that I will Have a Migraine for 2-4 days.

I don’t have time for this! I have Work to Do, Baby to Care, Husband to Talk, House to Tidy Blog to Write, Business to Run.

Perhaps that’s it. Perhaps the reason I have migraines is my body’s mechanism to force me to Slow Down. Because, I definitely must slow down when I have a migraine. Obvously not too much though, because I am still typing a blog entry as we speak - but that may just be because I have a fairly high tolerance for pain.

When I decided for forego pain medication for the birth of my daughter, one of my reasons was because of my tolerance of my migraines (typically 4-6 days per month, 2 days with pain enough to disable). I would rather go through those 5 hours of labor each month than have 6 days of migraines. First, at the end of labor you get a baby (not that I want a baby each month, but you get the idea). Migraines have No Reason. Second, labor has a beginning and an end. Five hours is really not that long to deal with discomfort. Four days of a migraine is a long time. Not only do I Not Have Time for it, it really sucks!

According to the World Health Organization, migraines are a disabling illness. “WHO ranks Migraine as one of the top twenty causes of years of healthy life lost to disability.” National Migraine Association. And, all those migraine medications don’t work — for me they just give me weird side effects (like anxiety) and only take the edge off the pain (and do nothing for my nausea, tolerance for light, sound or smells).

For now I will just medicate myself with some chocolate donuts. One good side effect of migraines — I feel justified in eating anything I want.

How much TV is too much TV?

When Gracie was an infant, she did not like those Baby Einstein DVDs at all. I was jealous of moms who could plop their babies in front of the TV for 20 minutes, so they could cook dinner or take a shower. Not my baby, she was too active-needy-attached.

But a few weeks ago, I turned on Sesame Street and Gracie was interested. Two episodes later, she asked for Elmo. I thought, wonderful! I can write a few emails, take a shower, or have a telephone conversation while Gracie is amused by something for 20 minutes.

Now she asks for it. Begs. If the TV cabinet is open, she starts pleading “Elmo” or “Dora” in that cute little baby girl voice. Oh, so tempting for me. She is busy for four DVD episodes, and I actually get a break.

But am I a horrible person for letting Gracie watch TV at age 17 months? Now, she only watches Elmo and Dora — both pretty educational type shows, and Dora is very engaging (asking the viewer to stand up, dance, answer questions). Gracie now knows how to dance (mostly spinning, shaking her elbows and clapping, very cute in a bizzare, manic way) and say the words “backpack” and “map” upon demand by Dora. Another odd thing is that Gracie actually stands in front of the TV for the entire show, so I am not worried about a couch potato effect.

Of course, the childhood development powers-that-be say that no one under age 2 needs to be watching TV. But no one under age 2 needs to eat ice cream either, and I don’t feel guilty about letting Gracie have some of my scoop, once a month.

I guess that’s my answer — balance. Moderation. “They” can’t say TV is okay because people might plop their kids there for 14 hours a day — but 30 minutes or an hour is okay. And, these programs do have some educational value, and a bit of harmless entertainment. Just don’t let the DVD repeat on autoplay, hour after hour.

Except when I’m really, really, tired. Besides, it’s not like I’m letting her play in traffic.

And the cat’s position has been usurped.

Poor Adia the cat. The famous cat, once the center of the Weinstein household, petted by clients, babied by her mommy and daddy, praised as the most beautiful cat in the world, has been regulated to a new position. No longer the center of the universe and the baby of the family, Adia is now just a cat.

The biggest difference has been how my husband treats her. She was his baby. He was always telling everyone at work about Adia’s latest talents, requiring all to acknowledge that Adia was the supreme cat in the universe. Now, that fatherly pride is requiring his coworkers to acknowledge that Gracie is the smartest and most beautiful toddler EVER (yes, he even demands this of other people with kids …). Adia is just a pet, and is only discussed in relationship to Gracie (does “the cat” like Gracie, does Gracie chase “the cat” - Adia has even lost the privilege of a name in these conversations).

I, of course, feel guilt. I don’t spend the time playing with Adia that I used to — and even worse, I have forgotten to feed her until I am annoyed by her walking all over me (and feed her mostly to stop the harrassment!).

But Gracie LOVES Adia. Gracie’s first word was Cat. She chases her around, tries to hug her, and pets her nicely (most of the time). Adia has a love-hate relationship with Gracie - she loves the attention, and looks at tolerating Gracie’s attempts as an investment in the future — but cannot stand Gracie suddenly screaming at a high pitch to see how high Adia will jump.

The Perfection Monster.

My name is Elizabeth, and I am a perfectionist.

Funny, because my house is cluttered, and right now my living room floor is covered in cracker crumbs, and the sink is full. I have a ton of ideas for my business that are not yet started, and dozens of unfinished projects around the house. So, I don’t look like one of those perfect-everything-in-its-place chicks.

But, that is not the definition, is it? The definition is by what standard do I judge myself (and other people, for that matter). Not by okay, or good enough, or a good job, or nice try. But, by give-it-1000%, best quality, everything to everyone, never-a-break, perfection.

I intellectually know that I need to spend time on myself, so I do that. I understand that 93% is usually seen as great by everyone, and the last 7% is not worth it — but I secretly feel like a tiny bit of a failure for not giving it the last 7%. I have learned that I cannot do everything, it is okay to say “no” and delegate — but I feel like a looser for ever asking for help — and, that no one else could ever do as good of a job as I would (what an egomanic!).

For example, there are multiple piles of DVDs and random items piled precariously upon the top of the TV cabinet. They have been there for months, when Gracie decided to open the drawers, remove all the DVDs, and use them as frisbies and coasters. Could I have delegated organizing these items to my husband, or nanny, or hired an organizer? Of course. But, no, I plan do it myself — which means that in the last few months it has not been done — and occasionally, a DVD box will topple off the side, almost taking out the cat. Why do I care about how it is done? Why not just do it now, or assign it out?

I am working on my perfectionism (isn’t admitting the problem the first step?) — now that I have Gracie, I really don’t want to give her a complex. Any more that I already will be, anyway.

Taking the scary step off the cliff — or, can I fly?

I’m creating some new programs to add to my financial planning business — and my coaches are helping me take the very scary step of actually marketing them to the public and setting dates for the program to start. Ack! Making it real is very, well, Real!

But, I must admit that (1) I love getting that kick in the butt from my coaches to take my ideas to reality, (2) coaches are great at cutting through the B.S. and figuring out the real “issues” stopping me, and (3) a deadline where clients are going to show up expecting great information, means that I really must finish creating and formalizing these programs.

Even more scary is the idea of marketing something that is not yet finished. I have all the information in my head, but not written down on paper, or formalized into nice PowerPoints or Handouts.

But I do know that it will be great, of course!
On another note - I am purchasing a Olympus DS-2 Digital Voice Recorder (41% off at Amazon.com) to help me multitask even more (and actually make the time to get this stuff done). I already have Dragon Naturally Speaking 9. When I am hanging out with Gracie, I can’t always type on a laptop or write on paper — but many times I come up with great thoughts or ideas that I want to capture. So, even while watching Gracie play at the park, or while driving the car, I can record my thoughts into the digital recorder, and use Dragon to transcribe the files into text. We shall see how it works.

Adventures in potty training

On spec, I bought Gracie a potty last Thursday. She’s only 16 1/2 months old, so a bit early for the current theory of potty training. For the last few months, she has been announcing when she needs her diaper changed about 1/2 the time, and is very interested in the process of using the bathroom. So, I though, let’s get a potty so whenever she is ready, she is used to the equipment.

I showed her the potty and explained what it was for, and had her practice sitting there (in her clothes). But I thought to myself, how do you explain how to do this? How do you tell someone when to go, or how?

That evening, when she was getting ready for her bath, she seemed upset and kept saying “potty” — she then sat right down on the potty and went! Amazing! I have a super baby!
– You know you are a mom when you get excited about bodily functions –

She is now going in the potty once or twice a day. My baby is growing up.

Side effects — she keeps taking off her training pants to see what’s in there, she “misses” the potty twice for every time she makes it, she wants to run around naked, she wants to keep “wiping” herself with her toddler wipes, and she wants to keep washing her hands.

I guess we can have the rugs dry cleaned, once she moves out.

The Long Tail

Last week I read The Long Tail: Why the Future of Business Is Selling Less of More by Chris Anderson.

This book does a wonderful job explaining the real New Economy — the ability of small merchants to sell specialty, niche products, widely available through new internet distribution systems. Fundamentally, transaction costs — shipping, store stock, brick-and-mortar, distance, time — are all reduced to small amounts (or nothing) — so we, as consumers, can access whatever non-mass-market stuff we want. And, the book discusses the power of the internet to let the collective wisdom of the masses dispense information (i.e., Wikipedia).

So what is The Long Tail? See The Long Tail website for more specific information and the chart. The Long Tail is reference to a chart where the popularity of a product/service is on the vertical axis (or how many are sold), and the products are on the horizontal axis. A few products sell a whole bunch, and then the graph quickly falls off to the majority of products that sell very little.

There are only a few “blockbuster” type products that sell a lot (and each year those “blockbusters” sell less and less). Then the chart quickly falls off, as most products sell very few. Historically, those products were not available, because no business could afford to stock a product, like a book, that sold only 2 copies a year. However, in the age of internet business, and Print-On-Demand, no one has to keep a book in stock (and pay for inventory, storage fees, non-sale, etc.), so non-brick-and-mortar businesses like Amazon.com can afford to keep that 1x year book available on its website.

What this means is that the very large mass market products — blockbuster movies, network TV, CDs, brick-and-mortar stores — are gradually loosing out to specialty products that are available through various internet distribution mechanisms — both the large stores like amazon.com, Netflix, and iTunes, as well as the online marketplaces and search engines, like ebay, Amazon marketplace, yahoo marketplace, and google. We all like using specialty products, because they are more directed to our particular tastes and needs, than the generic mass-market junk.

I love that the tyranny of the mass-media big-business is gradually being eroded by the collective wisdom of the masses, and the little guy internet businessperson, the blogger, the garage band, and the self-publishing author. Much more stuff to weed through (requiring better search technology and a more critical eye), but so much more interesting stuff is available now than ever before.

Another terror plot foiled?

As I sat down to give Gracie her breakfast bottle, CNN reported that a group of terroists in the UK were arrested — they had planned to carry regular liquids onto flights from the UK to US and mix them to create a bomb. Now, flights in the US are on alert, and no liquids, gels, or key fobs are allowed. Glad that no one in my family is flying today.

This brings up all of my leftover feelings from September 11th - mixed with my mother-bear protectionism of my familiy and my daughter. What a different world we live in. Before September 11th, terrorism was something that did not happen here. Now, I interact with the news in a completely different way — when I watch the conflict in the middle east, I wonder what it would be like if someone was dropping bombs in my neighborhood, and blowing themselves up in my local Starbuck’s. Not that unrealistic. When I fly in a plane, I think about if I did not come home to my family because someone crashed the plane.

All this reminds me - we really do need to finish our estate plan. I am constantly getting on clients (especially those with young children) about not having their estate plan finished — yet we still have not finished our living trust. I do have a powers of attorney, healthcare directive, and a will, but we have not finished the entire project. Took some time for us to make decisions about a guardian and successor trustee — but now that is decided, I need to finish the project and get the documents executed and the trust funded. A major who-doctors-the-doctor problem.

Meanwhile, life goes on. Today’s project is to obtain supplies to baby-proof the kitchen drawers. Gracie somehow became tall enough (overnight?) to pull a razor-sharp knife out of the utensil drawer this morning and wave it around the kitchen. Ack!

Welcome to my new blog!

Today I am starting a new blog, about running a growing financial planning business while managing a daughter, husband, house, cat, and the rest of my life.

Yesterday I met with my life/business coach, so today I am working on some assignments from our meeting. BTW, I strongly recommend that if you are going through major change in your life, changing careers, staring a new life period (getting married, having a child, kids off to college, retirement) or starting a business — HIRE A COACH! It is the simplest way to create major change in your life, and make the life you really want in the quickest and most efficient way.

My assigment from my coach for today is not about my financial planning business — it’s resolving the clutter in the rest of my life. I’m finally finishing reorganizing my personal files — which have been in flux since I moved out to my new office in October 2005 (and separated my business and personal files). They are currently in such a state of disarray that I have been unable to find important documents (they must be in a box somewhere!) and I have even been late on a bill or two, because I misplaced the bill. How embarrassing, especially for a financial planner! I really need to get my own life organized — besides, it’s a great opportunity to develop a document management system for my clients.